Thursday, April 23, 2009

Choosing to trust

I didn’t expect it to be this hard to communicate via internet once we left America. In fact, there were a lot of things I didn’t expect. I didn’t expect to be faced with missing the familiar and home and my mom’s voice and hugs so soon. I didn’t expect to be discontent at being in New Zealand and just wanting to be back home in the U.S. I didn’t expect to not be able to log onto the net and communicate just as easily as I wanted, whenever I wanted. But most importantly, I didn’t expect to meet with God so soon over all these little things that were bothering me and find Him guiding me to a greater dependence on Him.

All six of us felt at home in Fiji as soon as we arrived. That was a real blessing. We enjoyed our two day stay at a hotel and found it very helpful to shift our tired bodies into another time zone gradually. The first night the kids woke up at 3 am, the next night 4 am, and on and on until now we are actually waking them up at 7 am.

On Sunday morning Mike, the children, and I had our Bible time on the beach. It was a great time as we all reflected on things God has created and how we know He is near. We praised the Lord, prayed, read the Bible and swam in the pacific. Walking back I asked the Lord for some little glimpse of His presence. A few minutes later we noticed His rainbow in the sky, a promise of His unfailing compassion. We positioned the kids under it and took their picture. We know He will always be faithful and that is all we need.

Monday morning when we were boarding the plane to New Zealand it struck me how far we are from the U.S. and how difficult it would be to get back there. That realization was like a pain in my heart that lodged there for awhile. On the plane I was tempted to feel pity for myself and not having a home or the security a home provides. The Lord sweetly brought John 14 to my mind. He has gone to “prepare a place for me.” My place is with Him. It is secure and it is perfect for me. Although I cannot see it or touch it right now it is more real than anything this world could offer. Heb. 4:12 says that Scripture pierces the innermost places of our hearts, “down to the joints and marrow.” That passage from John took root in my heart and turned my sorrow into rejoicing. It turned fear and insecurity into confidence and hope.

Even though we were only in Fiji for two days, we were already confronted with the battle for the truth of Christ. A Fijian lady described her salvation to me by saying "God gave us a son and everything got better and we were baptized." Driving through Nadi we saw numerous red flags on bamboo poles flying above homes declaring the family's allegiance to the monkey God. Young girls recently married were adorned with the traditional markings that associate them with their false gods. There is so much deception everywhere. We pray that His truth will prevail and these people will turn from darkness to light.


  1. Trust is a choice, isn't it? Thanks for such an honest, encouraging post. I know how to pray for you~ and I will pray! Love you guys!

  2. Wow I love to hear about your experience through your eye's Amanda. Praising the Lord with you. Thanks for your honesty in how you're feeling, praying for you........Rachael